What to Write in a Christmas Card After a Death
It's easy to stress over how to handle grief. Your ain emotions are difficult enough, simply it becomes far more adverse when a close friend or colleague is grieving. Y'all're trying to figure out how to compassionately navigate the holiday season and provide support for someone's grief.
Jump ahead to these sections:
- Tips for Writing it in a Christmas Card or E-mail
- Tips for Saying "Merry Christmas" to Someone Experiencing Grief In-Person
In add-on, you don't want to brand them uncomfortable by tiptoeing around their emotions. But it might seem wrong to burst in with greetings of Christmas cheer when this might exist a really trying fourth dimension in their life. What tin you say?
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Tips for Writing information technology in a Christmas Bill of fare or Email
Sending out Christmas cards to friends and family is a time-honored tradition. But for a grieving friend, it might be wise to do a little updating in retentiveness of their loved 1.
Skip the photograph card
It'south typical to include a movie of your smiling family effectually the holidays. Usually, this is a sweet memory to hang on the refrigerator, only for your grieving friend or loved one, it might just be a painful reminder. Instead, try a bare Christmas card (we like this pack of bare cards ) with handwritten condolences and a thoughtful message.
- I know this Christmas without your mom is really hard, since Christmas was her favorite holiday. Praying that you accept good people to get together around yous right now, and you can discover some peace during these dark days. I wish everything healthy this Christmas season.
- It'due south hard to wish you a Merry Christmas right at present when y'all probably feel anything but merry. I'1000 and then lucky that I got the take chances to meet your son, fifty-fifty though I too miss him terribly during the holidays. I loved seeing him sing Christmas carols at church on Christmas Eve. Wishing you peace and proficient people to gather with you on this Christmas Day.
- You must be feeling and so many different emotions correct at present. Christmas without your dad is so hard. I'm and then pitiful yous're trying to cope with this during the holiday flavour. Praying for peace and good vibes for you and your family.
Put the focus on them
With the new year's day approaching, some families accept the fourth dimension to review their year. They go to share fun highlights and large milestones with extended family and friends that might non otherwise know.
In this instance, make sure to give them the attention they demand or desire, and exist sensitive with your commentary nearly your experiences in the past year, as it could make them feel a bit sadder.
- I'grand so glad I got the opportunity to spend and so much time with yous and your husband before he passed. He was an extraordinary man, and I and then wish he was hither to spend the holiday season with us. Wishing you lot a Merry Christmas, even every bit you walk through these nighttime days.
- I'k glad I get the chance to host y'all and your family this year at my business firm. I know changing all your traditions, without your wife, is so painful. I'm so sorry yous're dealing with these dark times, but I'grand glad I have so many memories of your wife. She was and then happy during the holiday season, and I'thou glad I retrieve that.
- Wishing yous and your family unit peace during this difficult holiday season. I'd love to bring a casserole for Christmas Eve if that's something you'd similar. I'll telephone call you lot later this week and see if we can coordinate something.
Write an invitation
Traditions encourage you to wish someone a Merry Christmas with a traditional card. Only you can do it in other ways, as well. What about an invitation to practice something else? Some people struggle to maintain their usual holiday traditions later the loss of a loved ane.
In that location are but too many memories lurking effectually every corner. So if they don't usually come to visit you on Christmas, or if you plan to do something untraditional this Christmas, you lot tin can invite them to come join you lot.
- I know you said you're not interested in celebrating Christmas this year--me neither! What practise you call back about volunteering at the animal shelter for the day? I'd love to meet if I can find a puppy to adopt.
- Desire to hang out and watch Netflix on Christmas Mean solar day? A lowkey Christmas sounds similar just the ticket, and I'd beloved for you to join me.
- I'd like to exercise something crazy this Christmas. Want to become to the Commonwealth of the bahamas with me? Information technology'd be a fun style to spend Christmas, merely the ii of united states of america!
If y'all can't be in that location in person, consider sending them a personalized memorial ornament with the proper noun, photo, or their loved one'south date of decease.
Tips for Saying "Merry Christmas" to Someone Experiencing Grief In-Person
Coming up with the correct matter to say on the spot is hard. Here are some ideas so you can plan alee for any upcoming encounters.
Don't ignore it
Avoidance is tempting. Information technology'due south hard to know what to say, peculiarly when you want to practise the correct thing. You can't brand it better, but you lot can provide support. This is easier to achieve in a menu or email, admittedly. In a conversation, it's hard to arts and crafts each word for the right effect. All you can practice is think alee and try your best.
Overall, the about important thing is to not ignore it. Don't gloss over information technology with cheer and adept wishes. You both know that everything isn't okay. It'south tempting to try to cheer them upward, but many people are probably already doing that.
And sometimes, it can feel similar anybody is trying to force you to pretend when you only can't. And then exercise your best to acknowledge information technology. You don't accept to be incredibly eloquent. Y'all can say something like, "things seem actually rough right now, but I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas anyway."
You lot can even personalize it, based on what you know near them and their family. Was Christmas their loved one's favorite holiday? If so, you can try proverb something similar, "I know how much your partner enjoyed Christmas, merely I still wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas."
With that, you're not trying to force merriment and flavour'due south greetings on them. By simply acknowledging both sides of the aforementioned coin, y'all recognize that they're going through a terrible fourth dimension. It's fifty-fifty worse when information technology's during one of the happiest times of the yr for many people. This juxtaposition can be hard to bargain with, and you're offering your back up through all parts of it.
Perhaps you'd like to recommend some music for them to mind to over the holidays to help them through the grieving procedure; consider our list of Christmas songs related to death and grieving.
Be supportive, non all-knowing
Sometimes, words can't encompass exactly what you lot're feeling. When someone is grieving, you're struggling to come up with the about appropriate way to hope they have the all-time holiday that they can under the circumstances. You can nonetheless pull information technology off, though.
Can you share a relevant anecdote? You tin still mention the Christmas season without existence obnoxiously merry most it. You can reminisce nigh how their loved 1 always did a certain matter at Christmas and acknowledge how much y'all'll miss them this year. This lets your friend or loved one know that they're not alone, and they're not the merely ones grieving this holiday season.
You can even become for a simpler choice. You lot can say, "I wanted to wish you a merry Christmas, just exercise you heed if I give yous a hug?" That tin piece of work very well if you're close to someone.
There's one trap to watch out for, though. It's tempting to say something like "I know what you're going through", or "I know it's difficult," and close with Christmas wishes. This can sometimes make things worse. Assuming that yous know what someone's going through tin exist kind of tactless. Grief is such a horrific, all-encompassing experience that it'southward incommunicable to predict what it feels like. Assuming that you can guess at their hurting may come across equally offensive.
Don't requite advice
For some people, this is obvious. Sometimes, well-significant advice tin only make things worse. But this applies to common phrases, too.
Have you ever heard someone tell a grieving person to "stay potent for your mom" or "at least they're in a better identify" or "at least you still have your kids?" This is insensitive to someone who is grieving. They don't want to "count their blessings." They know that they're lucky to have cracking kids, or a supportive spouse to help them through their grief. But those good things don't serve to minimize the grief that they're coping with.
Sometimes, those phrases come across as a semi-polite way of telling someone to "suck information technology up," which isn't what you want to do at all. Usually, going for informed empathy is the best fashion to communicate how you feel to someone else.
Remind Them That They're Not Solitary
Finding a way to share holiday wishes with others is a delicate balancing act. You desire to share every bit much cheer as you possibly can because you know that they're struggling, but yous don't desire to overwhelm them.
1 of the most isolating feelings that people report on the holidays when they're grieving is that they feel like they're on an island. Anybody else is jubilant and experiencing the vacation magic, but they only tin't seem to share in the festivities. They're on an island of grief, surrounded by Bing Crosby music and elves. Taking the time to extend a helping hand and a tactful greeting tin can make all the divergence to remind them that they're supported and loved.
If you're looking for more than ways to support a loved one who'south grieving this vacation season, read our guide on how to cope with grief during the holidays.
Source: https://www.joincake.com/blog/how-to-say-merry-christmas-to-someone-who-is-grieving/
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